UPDATE: For some reason, this post is a well-visited one. I would remind people of the date of the post: April 1st. Exxon is one of the scurges of the world, don’t believe for a second I’d stoop so low!

Super excited to announce that I’ve gotten hired as a PR and Media Manager for Exxon, a strong American energy firm.

I have been keeping my ear to the ground for good employment opportunities, and low and behold, a representative from Exxon saw my work, and flew me to Irving Texas to interview me. It was cool being whisked from the airport in big black SUVs, for some reason they drove four of them, just for me!

Their beautiful grounds...

Anyway, their marketing team is seeking creative professionals, and when they saw my experience and enthusiasm, offered me a six figure salary, whooo! They encouraged me to buy a new car, and the parking lot at their headquarters was full of late model year German cars, which was cool. What do I choose? Mercedes? BMW?

My new boss!

So long, Portland. It’s been fun, but now it’s time for the big boys to go to work. Did you know Exxon made nearly 32 Billion dollars in net income just last year alone? Can’t wait to get my share of it, and help this awesome American company spin their message to find a place in the average American’s heart.