Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round the latte machines and ready your scarves! We’re diving headfirst into the world of pumpkin spice, the flavor sensation that’s managed to hoodwink taste buds and warm hearts across the land.
Why, you ask? Well, we’re here to uncover the baffling, enigmatic allure of pumpkin spice, the grand illusion of the culinary world.
And yes, we might be taking a bit of a critical look at the hilarity of this flavor trend, but don’t worry, it’s all lighthearted fun.
It’s as Mysterious as Bigfoot
First off, what exactly is pumpkin spice? It’s not pumpkin, and it’s certainly not spicy. It’s a blend of cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and allspice—a concoction so simple that even your grandma’s spice rack could whip it up. Yet, we’ve let it masquerade as a flavor worthy of pumpkin royalty.
Caffeine Cult Propaganda
Enter the pumpkin spice latte, the unofficial mascot of the season formerly known as “fall.” Baristas across the globe tirelessly craft this beverage, leading us to believe that it’s more than just a coffee dressed up for Halloween. The truth? It’s an overpriced espresso with a sprinkle of the aforementioned spice blend, surrounded by more sugar than a kid’s Halloween candy haul.
The Pumpkin Spice Economy
Businesses are capitalizing on this craze in ways that would make Scrooge McDuck blush. Pumpkin spice cereals, cookies, candles, hard seltzer, and even dog treats (because Fido deserves seasonal snacking too) have flooded the market. It’s the capitalist dream, with pumpkin spice as the capitalist mascot.
The Guardian has a recent article tracking some of the more than 138,000 pumpkin spice flavored items, which have turned into a $250 million dollar seasonal juggernaut.
Pumpkin Spice All the Things!
Suddenly, pumpkin spice isn’t just for lattes and pies. It’s infiltrated our cereals, snacks, candles, air fresheners, and even our deodorants. It’s like the flavor is on a mission to permeate every aspect of our lives. Perhaps it’s plotting world domination as we speak.
The Dieline has a look at some of the season’s ‘pumpkin-spice-everything-season’, including toilet wipes?! C’mon….
Basic is the New Black?
Every year, fall rolls around, and with it comes a flood of social media posts featuring plaid shirts, UGG boots, and pumpkin spice everything. It’s as if embracing this flavor is an annual rite of passage for anyone aspiring to be labeled “basic.” Let’s be real: pumpkin spice is the siren song of conformity.
Fall FOMO
In the age of Instagram, the pressure to enjoy the fall season to the fullest is real. Pumpkin spice has cleverly positioned itself as the embodiment of autumn, leaving anyone who isn’t partaking in its consumption with a case of “Fall FOMO.” Fear not; there’s no need to succumb to the season’s siren call.
And yes, while we like to poke fun at the autumn trend, we too will most likely indulge once or twice in this ever-expanding orange universe. With the pumpkin spice onslaught upon us, we may not even have a choice…
